7.
I am hearing that many are having The Talks about wills, and instructions over the disposal of archiving of personal effects, after knowing they were a “to do” but having put them off. Can you imagine how tenderly people are facing their uncertainty? My heart is just so soft in love for all of us around the world. We have tenderness all around as we consider this tidying.
I have been crying today and yesterday. It feels like a relief to have such an open heart. And bursting out laughing too. The crying is coming close to people as they share their pain as we talk on the phone or by Zoom: a cat calling out to my brother from the street after getting hit by a car, a grandmother who cut all her hair off in grief, another whose body turned cold looking at the poverty in Bangladesh, or me seeing a little vid of Five Islands in Maine, where my mom and Dad retired, made two days ago and just being brought back to that family place cracked my heart open. I thanked the Youtube film fellows for letting me cry my eyes out. And then, sitting out watching the trees, and bursting out laughing seeing a bird go from one tree to the next, deciding not to use its wings, but shape itself into a bullet and just shoot over.
8.
Bob has a dream. All the Republicans are watching a static red screen. All the Democrats are watching a blue screen, only the blue screen has slight, subtle shifts of hue. The screens are actually like a membrane or the edge of a cloud from afar. Trump can’t help himself. He keeps periodically poking the blue screen, which leaves a red finger print. The Democrats are mesmerized, waiting for the next time.
9.
Dear Dr. P.,
I am deeply grateful for your service, & hoping you & your family are safe, healthy, and have all that you need. For 13 days (since March 21), I have had symptoms of slight burning in my right lung, occasional surprise coughs, headaches for 1-3 days on top of my head or back of my neck that last one to three days, a thickish but not sore throat, & fatigue with the headaches. I have not left the house. Six days into this I felt better. Then I had a relapse. It took five further days before I felt better again. Then I had a relapse for a day. Now, today I feel refreshed again. I have had no fever, just very slight shortness of breathe, and aside from the occasional surprise cough, no coughing, no loss of smell. I stay in a separate room, otherwise I wear my mask around the house to protect my husband. When would I qualify to get tested so that I would know if this is a very mild case of C-19? I would like to be close to my husband again.
10.
From my doctor the following day. How she could have responded so quickly I do not know.
Hi Jane,
Thank you for your warm wishes!
I’m sorry to see that you’re going through this. I ran your situation by our Infectious Disease docs, who didn’t feel that you’d meet criteria for testing with current supplies. However, that could change if you continue to have symptoms next week – we may have more tests, possibly even access to the antibody test, depending on how fast it can get rolled out.
Typically, we recommend that patients continue to self-isolate until 48-72 hours free of symptoms including fevers and productive cough. The dry spasms of cough and fatigue can last for several weeks, and is not likely contagious at that period. You may be at this point, but I’d give it at least another day or so to see how you feel.
All the best.
11.
I went out into the world today. A lot has changed. Many are well practiced now in six feet. The grocery store has marks on the sidewalk to guide us apart in the line to enter. One in, one out. There are three feet by three feet squares on the floor along the product shelves, I assume to stand inside to pull out your intended purchases, while others wait six feet away. Some pay attention. Some do not. I notice an arrow that points to the single direction of an aisle, so people do not get close when crossing. One aisle was too crowded for me to safely pass, so I turned away. I will get it next time, I thought, remarkably, that our needs have changed. I can do without. Or I can do with less. I thanked every store employee I passed. I thanked the check out clerk for his service. I said I was grateful. He paused so we could hold eyes over our masks. Nursing home residents are dying. Even more nursing home staff are testing positive. In one resident living facility of ninety, only five staff showed up. All the rest refused to come into work either because they were sick or were afraid they could be. The staff have been forgotten in the scramble for protective equipment. Now the local public health officials are taking notice but it feels too late and families with loved ones who need this care are beside themselves with fear and outrage.
12.
Today was one of my birth days. One of two.
I had the most wonderful time reading over artifacts from my son’s life out of a portfolio I made on the event of his graduation. He is 26 now. I am so grateful and I do recognize the privilege I have in taking time to savor this son. Like the email gems of a Bird Song Opera in Three Minutes, a Lean On Me medley, the Clothespin Notes from my brothers, my niece, my nephew, my swim buddy, it is with these meaningful moments that we carry the toll of the dead, and create a world in their honor.
13.
My book was born today, April 10, 2020. 10.4 ounces.
14.
Out on my bike delivering books. For some reason I do not yet understand but imagine it has something to do with costs and a lockdown, it is moi who is responsible for getting books to people who order through the Press. This I learned only after I informed about 400 people. So, silver lining, I pop over unannounced to local people, get exercise, and receive them in whatever state they are in – if they open the door – after I have elbowed the doorbell and then scampered down to the sidewalk. I am single-handedly keeping our dear postal service alive. Four days ago I mailed five books off. After I thanked them for their service and told them how very grateful I was to them, they implored me to come back.
I realized this afternoon I am retooling my author business into a delivery service, much like vodka producers are now in the hand sanitizer business.
15.
On Mon, Apr 13, 2020 at 6:53 PM J. <xxxxxxx@gmail.com> wrote:
Wow, your book just appeared at my door?!? Was that you?
J
On Mon, Apr 13, 2020 at 6:57 PM Jane P. PERRY <jpperry@berkeley.edu> wrote:
Bizarre, right????
The publisher said it was better that I take care of distributing ordered books.
I went, wha?????? I just sent out a 175 person email, then put a notice in my 200 member chorus newsletter……
So, I figured I needed to stay on top of things – ever the optimist, I am.
Got on my bike. There was another delivery to McGee and Jefferson, so the Writing Goddess is orchestrating.
Enjoy.
On Mon, Apr 13, 2020 at 7:03 PM J <xxxxxxx@gmail.com> wrote:
Joyce Carol Oates has never done that for me.
Michael Chabon doesn’t do that for me and he lives here.
J
16.
TO: Army Corps of Engineers
RE: San Francisco Bay to Stockton Dredging Plan / Dredge Material Management Plan
Thank you for providing the opportunity for public comment on the San Francisco Bay to Stockton Dredging Plan / Dredge Material Management Plan. Please accept this correspondence as part of your public comment. I honor the Corps’ mission to maintain safe and efficient navigation in our Bay and especially a plan for Bay maintenance that takes a regional approach.
EXPOSURE FROM EMISSIONS AND SPILLS: I work weekly with children in the heart of one of America’s toughest inner-city neighborhoods, in the once-abandoned city parks in Richmond, California’s Iron Triangle neighborhood in the refinery corridor of SF Bay. I am an expert in outdoor play and I work in Richmond to support rich, creative, outdoor play as a vehicle to spark and foster healthy child development. These are the children and families most affected by continued refinery flares and fires and other emissions. On June 4, 2019 KQED News reported that Chevron’s Richmond refinery has experienced 17 malfunctions that resulted in the facility sending gases to its flares during the first five months of that year, already almost doubling the number of flaring episodes it committed in all of 2018, which marked the highest tally of such incidents in 12 years. Add this to the July 12, 2019 report in the Washington Post of an oil spill that dumped nearly 800,000 gallons of oil and water into a Kern County canyon, making it larger than the state’s last two major oil spills.
DEATH TOLL Due TO EXPOSURES: It is ironic that the coronavirus lockdown we are currently in the middle of here in the SF Bay Area may be saving more lives from pollution reduction than are threatened by the virus itself. Scientists estimate the U.S. death toll from air pollution at more than 100,000 per year (Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences of the United States of America, “Fine-scale damage estimates of particulate matter air pollution reveal opportunities for location-specific mitigation of emissions.” Andrew L. Goodkind, Christopher W. Tessum, Jay S. Coggins, Jason D. Hill, and Julian D. Marshall, PNAS April 30, 2019 116 (18) 8775-8780; first published April 8, 2019. https://doi.org/10.1073/pnas.1816102116 ).
The World Health Organization estimates the global death toll from air pollution at 7 million:
“From smog hanging over cities to smoke inside the home, air pollution poses a major threat to health and climate. The combined effects of ambient (outdoor) and household air pollution cause about seven million premature deaths every year, largely as a result of increased mortality from stroke, heart disease, chronic obstructive pulmonary disease, lung cancer and acute respiratory infections. More than 80% of people living in urban areas that monitor air pollution are exposed to air quality levels that exceed WHO guideline limits, with low- and middle-income countries suffering from the highest exposures, both indoors and outdoors.” (World Health Organization/Health Topics/Air Pollution, https://www.who.int/health-topics/air-pollution#tab=tab_1).
THE WILL TO LIVE: To put it bluntly, refineries are causing immediate regional and state harm. It is shameful that the Bay refineries plan to process more Canadian tar sands crude via ship. With all due respect and humility, I ask you not to accommodate oil industry growth and thereby make the Army Corps of Engineers complicit in the oil industry’s greed at the expense of children and families and the environment.
You have your own families. You have your own sense of pride and protection for their health and future. You can step into compassion, conscience, and civility and cease the San Francisco Bay to Stockton Dredging Plan so that the Richmond, CA children I see riding a zipline, swinging on disk swings, playing soccer, writing notes of love to their dad and mom, cooking pretend tacos and fresh garden salads, building Lego flying ships and little homes, and making science potions in meditative water pouring will share in your own families’ future, because we are all together.
Thank you for providing this critical forum for public comment.
17.
Thank you for letting us know about Joe, so we can keep you both especially close in our hearts. You both are very in touch with your bodies, so I remain assured of your watchful manner. Keep in mind the occurrence of relapse(s). I had four with whatever I had. My NYC friend is a month and still experiencing fatigue. I keep thinking of the Bob and Ray Radio Hour episode where they are cowboys each trying to get off their horses. They keep thinking they are off, but then they find they are not. It goes on and on, with them trying out all sorts of ideas. At one point they consider spending the night up in the saddle and waking up fresh in the morning to dismount “like cowboys should.” They decide to eat up there. One drops his mess cup (the audio is marvelous). “At least that’s down,” the other says. It goes on and on.
I love you both.
18.
Another birth day. Just two more hours 28 years ago and we greeted you. I am so very grateful to have you in our lives, for being the answer to your grandparents’ prayers, and so proud of your compassionate conscience. I love you.
19.
I walked to and above Lake Temescal. Noticing all the edible plants that Moi Who Knows Nothing greeted. Baby dandelion greens. Indian lettuce. Fennel. Sour grass. I have not yet confidently learned how to ask permission from the plants before foraging. Then also, Temescal Creek, where salmon ran not even 100 years ago. I am so very grateful to receive this reminder of what Mother Nature so generously gives us when we respect her.